Toni Gonzaga opens up on postpartum depression
MANILA, Philippines – New mother Toni Gonzaga may be back to work, already appearing on shows like Home Sweetie Home and Pinoy Big Brother, but she's also opening up about how her first few months after pregnancy weren't easy. (LOOK: Paul Soriano, Toni Gonazaga's newborn son, Seve)
In an interview with the press during the second day of filming The Voice Teens Philippines, Toni admitted experiencing postpartum depression after her son Severiano Elliott Gonzaga Soriano (nicknamed Seve) was born.
Seve, who is Toni's first child, was born in September 2016, and is 6 months old. His father is Toni's husband, film producer and director Paul Soriano.
"Akala ko noon, 'Naku, yung mga postpartum [depression], bakit kaya may' ganoon?' Pero may' ganoon talaga, na dadaan ka sa self-pity," she said on Friday. "Kasi siyempre, diba, 9 na buwan may dala-dala kang human sa katawan mo, tapos nawala. Parang feeling mo a part of you, 'Huh, ba't parang may' kulang, may wala?'"
(Before, I thought, 'Why are there people who experience postpartum [depression]?' But it really happens, you really go through self-pity. Because, of course, you went through 9 months of carrying a human in your body, and then it's gone. It's like you feel like a part of you is like, 'Huh, why is it like there's something missing, something's gone?')
Toni continued, saying that she would usually cry in the bathroom, when she was alone.
She recounted: "Halimbawa, tapos na ako mag breast feed, ang sakit na ng chest ko, ang sakit na lahat, so pupunta ako sa CR, bibihis ako, tapos 'pag iiyak siya, maririnig ko iiyak siya. Kasi parang mayroon siyang yung first few months niya, pag naghihiwalay kami, parang nararamdaman niya eh."
(For example, I'm done breast feeding, and my chest hurts, everything hurts, so I go to the bathroom to change, and then he'll cry, I'll hear him crying. Because during his first few months, whenever we were apart, he could feel it.)
"'Pag umiiyak siya sabi ko, 'Umiiyak na naman siya, ano na namang kailangan niya?'" said Toni. "Iiyak din ako, magdadrama din ako. Minsan may ganoon kami, 'pag umiiyak siya, iiyak din ako. Mag-iiyakan kami. Sabi ko, 'Anak, ginagawa mo akong dramatic actress.'"
(Whenever he'd cry, I'd say, 'He's crying again, what does he need again?' I would cry too, I would be dramatic too. Sometimes we do that, when he cries, I cry too. We'll cry together. I said, 'Son, you're turning me into a dramatic actress.)
Because she never cried to her husband Paul and only when she was alone, Toni advised new mothers to talk to the people around them.
"Siguro yun ang advice ko sa mga nanay pagtapos niyong manganak, 'wag kayo mapag-isa. Lagi niyong kausapin yung mga kasama ninyo sa bahay, nanay niyo, kapatid niyo, asawa niyo," she said.
(I guess that would be my advice to mothers who just gave birth, don't let yourselves be alone. Always talk to those who are with you at home, your mom, your siblings, your husband.)
When asked, Toni said that she's since overcome her postpartum depression.
If these feelings last for more than two weeks, it may be postpartum depression, which is experienced by at least 10 percent of new moms. Some experts believe that the number may be higher, because many women don't seek help.
Celebrities like Courtney Cox and Gwyneth Paltrow have opened up about their postpartum depression. Chrissy Teigen wrote about her experiences with the condition on Glamour, saying that the lack of conversation about it initially led her to believe that she didn't have it.
Toni's only worry now, as a mother, she said, is the responsibility of raising Seve: "Iba na pala yung mayroong life o human na nanggaling sa 'yo because for the rest of your life, you are responsible for the welfare of that baby, of that person, and paglaki niya lahat 'yun, magrereflect sa magulang. So 'yun lang iniisip ko, sana lumaki siya nang maayos, may respeto sa mga nakatatanda sa kanya, may respeto sa magulang niya, at may takot sa Diyos."
(It's different when there's a life or a human who came from you, because for the rest of your life, you are responsible for the welfare of that baby, of that person, and when he grows up, all that will reflect on the parents. So that's all I'm thinking of now, hoping that he grows up properly, with respect for elders, respect for his parents, and fear of the Lord.)
Today, Toni is keeping busy hosting The Voice Teens Philippines with Luis Manzano on top of her other projects and taking care of Seve. – Rappler.com