Astrology Q&A: 'Am I allergic to love?'
In this column, an astrologer takes your questions about love, life, career, and everything in between, and helps you find the answers in your birth chart
Di naman ako maganda, may karapatan ba akong maging choosy? I've been dating around since my seven year relationship ended but I can't seem to find someone I'm willing to be in a relationship with. I think I'm allergic to commitment but I wasn't always this way. What's wrong with me?
Looking at your chart, I would bet that it’s not commitment you’re “allergic” to.
With Capricorn as your Rising sign, you would come off as the strong, serious type. You have a pragmatic and responsible nature, so it wouldn’t surprise me if you approached relationships the same way. Aimless dating doesn’t seem like your thing. A caring, emotional bond seems more like your thing, because you have the sign of Cancer in your 7th house of marriage and one-on-one relationships.
What you might actually be “allergic” to, is vulnerability.
I say this because you have the Moon, which governs emotions and your inner needs, in the detached, logical sign of Aquarius. In your chart it’s joined by Saturn, the planet of restriction. What this means, is that you tend to restrict your feelings, and to withhold them from other people. Saturn tends to bring fear; it’s likely you fear opening up to people, because you assume they’ll reject you. You act like a lone wolf, even when you want to connect deeply with other people.
This might be rooted in your experiences of emotions growing up. In astrology, the Moon sheds light on a person’s early conditioning. A Moon-Saturn person is likely to have had a childhood where they didn’t receive enough nurturing, or they were taught that expressing feelings wasn’t acceptable. This might be a piece of your relationship puzzle.
For the past two years, since mid-2018, the dating scene has been a bumpy ride for you. You might meet someone and feel sparks, spend time with them, maybe even develop feelings… but then it ends as quickly as it began. Maybe after getting to know a person you’ve been seeing, you discover they’re not relationship material.
I say this because Uranus, the planet of surprises and upheaval, has been moving through your 5th house, which governs romance, but not formal relationships. This phase is great for experimentation. It’s a time for putting yourself out there—way more than you might be comfortable with—and dating different kinds of people, including those who aren’t normally your type. I know that doesn’t really sound like the ideal environment to cultivate a committed relationship, but Uranus brings exciting opportunities that can lead you to break out of old patterns in dating and relationships.
Another thing that I think you should note: Venus, the planet that rules your love nature, is having an encounter Neptune. When Neptune visits, he brings confusion and over-idealism. In recent months, perhaps you’re much more given to over-idealizing potential partners, or to project your wants and needs onto them without really seeing who they are, or what they are offering.
My advice as an astrologer is to lean into the uncertainty and instability of dating at this point in your life. Welcome it as a chance to practice being vulnerable, even — or perhaps especially — when you don’t know the outcome. Your Moon-Saturn nature tells you, “I won’t open up until I know there’s commitment!” But until you engage fully and commit to letting another person see you, it will be very difficult to find the right partnership.
And to answer your first question: we all have the right to be choosy about who we enter into relationships with, and looks have nothing to do with it! I didn’t need astrology to tell you that.
Love and light,
Gigi practices a blend of traditional and modern Western astrology, and has been reading charts since 2014. Having first learned through self-study, she is now formally studying the ancient language of Hellenistic astrology under a course by renowned astrologer Chris Brennan. She does personal birth chart readings over Zoom and Skype. You can reach her at email@example.com.
Got a question for the stars? E-mail your question, and include your exact date, time and place of birth, to [firstname.lastname@example.org]. It’s helpful to provide some context to your query, and I can only read your chart if your birth information is accurate and complete.