Palarong Pambansa standouts never lose sight of mother's love
TAGUM CITY, Philippines - To say that mothers play an important role in their childrens' lives is an understatement. There is nothing that a mother wouldn't do for their children, no sacrifice is too big as long as it’s for the good of their children's well-being.
During the early Olympics when women were not allowed to compete or even watch the games. A mother defied this and disguised herself just to see her son compete. And, when her son won the gold medal, she revealed herself uncaring that it would mean her death, just so she could congratulate her son.
Joy Ramos Diamante is the mother of not just one but of four student athletes. She's the mother of De La Salle University's famed football duo Gio and Gelo. Her youngest son, Jed, has had several international stints with the Philippine Under 13, 14 and 15 while youngest child and only daughter Jelli is also a varsity football player for Ateneo de Davao University (ADDU).
So, what is it like to be the mother of not just one but four student athletes? Diamante said she and husband Dapoy make sure to teach their children good values as well as to be God-fearing.
"It is not so much of a problem kasi naman they are all obedient and respectful. People ask nga if they fight, so far I can only remember one incident but other than that, wala talaga," Diamante said.
She tries to be present in all their games but said that it is her husband who is always there but if it is an international competition, she makes sure that she goes with them.
Aside from a family business, Diamante also works for her dad and Pru Life Insurance. However, their children will always be the priority.
"Our bosses know that we are very supportive of our children."
Daughter Jelli said that it is very important for her to have her mom watch her games.
"I gain confidence, kung wala po kasi siya parang may kulang. But if she can't make it I understand naman kasi valid naman yong reason niya."
Jelli said that what she loves most about her mom is that she is very caring and responsible to all of them.
Since most of her teammates are her batchmates, Jellie appreciates that her mom makes questionnaires for them to answer so they enjoy studying and training more.
Diamante said that since they are all into sports, she teaches all of them how to be gracious when they win and how to handle defeat.
"I make sure it doesn't go to their heads and I try to teach them to cope with defeat, sa amin kasi we believe in having a purpose for everything so if you lose there is a lesson to be learned so there's always something to gain even if it is a loss," Diamante said.
She and husband did not expect them to all go into sports. Although she and husband used to play as well in their younger years, her volleyball and her husband used to be into track and field and basketball.
"It all started when Gio was invited by Oppus Dei to join the boys club. Initially to get the boys playing and then they teach values after. So siguro it is God's way of inviting us and the children not just to get into it but to find the value pa rin in everything. To us that matters a lot especially that they are into sports. I make it a point na may values, it's not just a sport but may values na napupulot."
Their children did not only mimic their athleticism but also their being academic achievers. Diamante graduated college as a Cum Laude. All their children are academic achievers as well. Gio and Gelo are dean's listers while Jed recently graduated as ADDU's high school valedictorian. Jelli is also an honor student.
Diamante said she attributes her children's time management to their own discipline.
"The secret is that when I was conceiving all of them, I went to mass every day and I prayed for every detail kasali dyan that they would grow up intelligent and God fearing. I believe that's a major part of it and pagkalabas sa simbahan diretso na yan sa blessed sacrament, parang ino-offer namin sa kanya lahat."
(“After going out of the church, I proceed immediately to the blessed sacrament, it is like we are offering everything to Him.”)
And, this is what youngest son Jed appreciates about his mom, she handed to them her being Christ-centered. Jed added that he appreciates how his mom makes all of them feel that they are very valuable.
Diamante said that obedience is very important to their family. As children they sometimes forget to do their responsibilities, especially in school.
"We tell them na whatever we are asking them to do, they only have to trust us, it is for their own good. If there were times na they cannot follow, when sometimes they forget although this is very seldom, I always remind them that delayed obedience is disobedience, pag puede mong gawin na rin ngayon gawin mo na ngayon kasi magka-cram na yan lahat, sabay-sabay, might as well do it na pacing mo na."
(“I always remind them that delayed obedience is disobedience, If you can do it now then do it now rather than delay it rather than you have to cram because you already have to do everything together, might as well do it at your pace.”)
Whenever her children competes in multi-sporting events which normally lasts for more than a week, they make sure that their children stay in their designated billeting areas.
"Our children started na sa quarters talaga. We teach them the value of knowing how other people live. Kasi sabi ko nga sa kanila all these gifts were given to them for a purpose and that is to be of help to other people, whether it is just to inspire them. If we do not know where they are coming from how would we know how to inspire them."
She added that letting their children stay in their quarters is part of the discipline. There, they are taught to wash their own clothes, wash their plates, and how to fix their own things.
"That's one thing also, we try not to spoil our children, we let them fix their own things if they leave anything behind wala sila ibang sisihin kung di sarili nila then they learn the lesson. Next time, they will be vigilant kung ano bang dapat kong dalhin, they make a checklist kasi kung ibababy sila it is not helping them."
Diamante said that her most significant role to all her children is to guide and always remind them to be grounded.
"Ito yong sinabi ko na all our gifts is not for our own benefit, it is to inspire other people kasi if it is just for popularity then it is emply. But if you have a purpose, you achieve something then magagamit mo ito to help other people. So lahat directed to other people and giving glory back to God."
The mother of four said she always reminds them of this because she wants them to stay humble no matter what their achievements are.
She admits that her children's lives are their own.
"Taga remind lang kami, ultimately it is their life, it is their decision but if we are not there to teach them the values ano yong gagamitin nila when they decide pero if we tell them the consequences...this is what I always tell them, you can learn about life and you learn lessons in two ways by learning from others' experiences and from your own experience."
Diamante said how she wishes they would learn from her experience and the experiences of others because then they won't have to go through a lot of challenges.
The Diamantes have so much time to talk about values because she herself drives them to and back from school. "I make it a point that I am there."
She said that on the way to school they pray, on the way back home they share and interact about what happened to each of them that day.
"It is important at a certain age na andyan ka talaga when they get back from school hindi yaya, kasi yan yong magkwewento sila, pagnakwento na nila wala ng fire the next time pag ikukuwent nila ulit so dapat ikaw ang unang ma kwentuhan nila."
When it comes to injuries, Diamante said that she tells them to reflect on what happened and why it happened citing as an example her oldest son who broke his clavicle and was deemed out of the recently-concluded UAAP season, which was supposed to be his last.
She said that reflecting on what happened will calm them as well as humble them. They may not understand now but later on they will.
She said that Gelo's return to UAAP collegiate football where he scored a goal that allowed DLSU to advance to the finals inspired so many people and the lesson learned there would not have been the same if he had not come from an injury.
As for parents who overstep their roles by interfering in their games, Diamante said that she differentiates between standing up for her children and fighting for them.
"Ang pakikipaglaban and pakikipag-away ay hindi pareha, it is in the guise that they are doing it for their children na nakikipag-away sila pero sa akin hindi yan. Una mong iisipin ano ang value na pinapakita mo sa anak mo, nasa tama ka ba, paano mo ginawa yong pakikipaglaban, hindi pakikipag away like kung kunyare meron talagang wrong decision hindi mo aawayon yong ref, ang sasabihin mo siempre yong call niya, after that siempre wala bakit sino ba ang perfect, anong ang ipapakita mo sa anak mo kung ano yong behavior na ginawa mo, you humiliate your son and that is not fighting for your son kasi anong values ang nakukuha nya don. But if you pursue it in a more matured manner then nakikita nila yon."
("Standing up for your children and fighting for your children is not the same, it is in the guise that they are doing it for their children that is why they fight but for me that is not it. First, you have to keep in mind what kind of values you are showing to your children, are you in the right, how did you stand up for them. It is not standing up for them if for example there is a wrong call, you don't fight with the referee but you protest the call, then that's it then because nobody is perfect. You show your child how you deal with it, you humiliate your son and that is not standing up for them coz what kind of values are they getting.")
She said that just because they are her children she would rush to their defense even if they are wrong. She would make sure to pinpoint who is right and who was in the wrong.
Diamante added that they make it a point to discuss situations like these so her children could move on from it.
As a mother her worst fear is that her children would get injured and they would no longer be able to do what they love doing. But if that happens then it is God's way of telling them to maybe shift to other things.
She has lesser fears as to their academics because their understanding is that they study because they want to learn and not to get good grades. "If they get pressured, that is them doing it to their selves." And, when that happens she makes them go through it until they understand.
As to relationships, Diamante said she will not choose their girlfriends for them but that she just reminds them that each family have their own set of values and that they are not to compromise theirs.
She also reminds them of their certain roles at a certain age because there is a time for everything. - Rappler.com